Glucose Test

Last Wednesday I went for my routine glucose test that you have to do while pregnant.  I ate a very bland breakfast and dinner the night before (it was not a fasting test) and drank my glucose drink.  The drink was not that bad, I was able to choose a lemon/line flavor (not like the one pictured below) and it was actually okay.  You have to drink it within 30 minutes of your appointment and you have to finish it in 5 minutes.  You check your clock every second making sure you are not breaking the rules!

After drinking the drink, I waiting in the waiting area of my OB's office for Dracula the nurse to come.  She drew the vial of blood and then I was on my way.

On Friday she called to say, 'Do you have a minute?' which made my heart drop.  I had failed the test.  Visions of glucose meters, no more sugar and blood ran through my head.  Now I had to do the 1/2 day glucose test complete with not one but 4 blood draws!  Imagine my luck?!

Yesterday was D Day.  This time I had to fast from midnight the night before.  I arrived at the office at 8:00 to pick up my death certificate lab slip and I headed up to the dungeon of death the lab. 

The 'guy' who did the first draw was a complete jerk, I'm just going to be honest.  He announced into the lobby, 'Ivey, have a seat in station 2', as if I was about to experience a ride on the space shuttle.

He had as much personality and compassion as the keyboard I'm typing on!  I gave him my speech about 'don't tell me when you are going to stick me, please just do it because I'm terrified of needles and have a tendency to pass out'.  This is not the lab tech below, but the face I got after my prepared speech.

Once he stuck me, I realized this guy was just a janitor who had snuck in and stolen clothing of a lab tech.  (or at least that's what I rationalized when it felt like my arm was on fire and that he'd done it on purpose)!

I was literally crying my eyes out as he was drawing the blood.  Not out loud, just tears streaming.  No sympathy from the janitor lab guy.  As he finished, I'm thinking, 'surely he didn't see me crying, that's why he's being so cold, he doesn't realize it'.  NOPE  He handed me the tasty bottle of orange toxic sludge glucose and told me to drink it within 5 minutes and then come back in an hour for another blood draw.  He was looking right at me as I wiped away the tears!

The second blood draw came around and it was clear someone had said something to him or perhaps he thought about it after I left!  He did the second stick and it was not too bad and he said, 'Okay see you in another hour.'  Which for him, was quite the pleasant statement!  It must have killed him! 

I came back the third time and a girl called me back.  I was thinking, 'whew!  nothing against men, but geez louise!'  I sat down and she said, 'Hi, I'm (have no idea what her name was) and it is my first day, so bear with me!'  I threw my hands up and said, 'No way...sorry, I was bawling on my first stick this a.m., I need someone else.'  She said, 'I'm just kidding!'  NOT AMUSED I said, 'Don't do that to people, it is not funny!'  She apologized and I didn't even feel her needle go in.  I said, 'Okay, I'm finished right?'  She informed me there was one more stick to be done at 11:35 and that I needed to come back, then I could go have a 'tasty lunch'.  I don't like the word 'tasty' by the way.

I returned at 11:35 for the final blood draw and it was Mr. Happy again.  He said, 'Well last one!'  As if I didn't know that already.  He did the final stick after he ripped the tape off my other arm and when I say ripped, I mean RIPPED off the tape!

So after yesterday I think they took this many vials of blood, but I can't be sure, I was too busy looking at the stupid pet pictures on either side of the lab chair that were suppose to make me feel good about visiting Dracula's Lair the lab!

I get the results in 24 to 48 hours according to Mr. Personality.