Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Terrible 2 and a HALF!

I have heard from fellow mother friends about the Terrible 2's, Terrible 2-1/2's and Terrible 3's. I wondered why I decided to have a child on Friday of last week. Simmer down GiGi and Grammie...it was a fleeting thought, (okay it lasted all day Friday)!
It started as a normal Friday...Taebo at 6:00 a.m., text from Sara that her daughter was sick, so I just decided to take the day off and stay home with Caden. What I thought would be a wonderful Mother/Son day turned into a LIVING BREATHING NIGHTMARE.
I.WOULD.NOT.KID.YOU.ABOUT.THIS.! Tim's mom (Grammie) had already planned to take him to her house to spend the night Friday night. WHICH I WAS THANKFUL FOR AFTER FRIDAY! I may be over-dramatizing this a bit (my husband would certainly agree), BUT-I have never had a day like this with Caden E.V.E.R.!
I took Tim's truck to Discount to have them look at a tire and brought Caden along with me. He was wonderful. He played with his Hot Wheels trucks in the lobby and was fantastic! Then we left for Walmart to run in and buy our weekly pizza and some Parmesan cheese. THAT'S IT, NOT A BIG GROCERY SHOPPING TRIP. We get inside and he is in the cart and decides he wants to push the cart. This is normal, Walmart was empty so I obliged him. We parked near the lawn center and made our way into the wonderful world that is Walmart. This peaceful 'pushing of the cart' lasted maybe 1 minute...and I'm being generous saying 1 minute. He launched into a full-fledged unprovoked fit of which I have never witnessed. 'NO MOMMY, I PUSH IT!' For the record, HE WAS PUSHING IT! I told him to stop and that if he did not quit acting up, I was going to leave. He continued, so I left the empty cart in the automotive section (because I failed to mention I was on my way to the TOY AISLE to reward him!) and we headed out. I was holding him and he was kicking and screaming like those white trash kids do so often in WALMART! As we made our way to the lawn center, there was an older guy that works there that met us as we were walking out. He's a super nice guy and has worked there forever! He stopped me and said 'Hey Buddy! Why are you crying?' I said, (as if to justify what was going on), 'Caden is being ugly to Mommy so we are leaving.' The guy totally calmed Caden down (probably because he was scared of him) and said to be nice to me and that he needed to mind his Mommy, etc...etc...etc...So Caden calmed down and promised the stranger he would behave and we made our way back to the cart.
I passed up the toy aisle for obvious reasons and headed to the Parmesan cheese aisle. Tim called while Caden was being an angel and pushing the cart to see what Discount had said. As my phone rang I told Caden to stop (pushing) so I could answer the phone. 'NO MOMMY, I PUSH CART!' I looked around, no one else was on the aisle...so I grabbed him by the arm and smacked his rear end hard and said, 'Mommy said, STOP, you STOP!' I answer the phone and my demon possessed child decides to rid the shelves of all Ramen noodles...I.Die! I tell Tim that I have to call him back and he understands since he can barely hear me over my child freaking out in the middle of WALMART!
I discipline him again and put him IN the cart after my CLEAN UP ON AISLE WHATEVER NUMBER and we head to the pizza aisle. At this point he is throwing his leg out of the cart about to fall out and kill himself. I am so mad that I just want to get the pizza and leave. We get to the pizza and Tim calls back to say, 'Has he calmed down?' I didn't have to answer him because again Tim could hear my angel acting like a demon.
We check out and I go over why Mommy is upset and that is not how you are suppose to act in a store, etc. He says, 'Sorry Mommy...' and starts pointing out things along the way home to me...'Mommy, yellow bus!' 'Mommy, big truck!' I ignore him and hope it sinks in.
We get home and I fix lunch for him and put the nuggets on the tray along with some cheese and crackers and turn on the TV. It started out fantastic. Clearly my plan had worked and I was thinking I could give Dobson a run for his money with the parenting technique I had used!
Proof: He's having lunch quietly and watching TV.

Then he finishes and walks over and starts talking to me about-I can't remember-anyway, then we went south.
He decided after I asked him if he was finished with lunch to KICK HIS TRAY OVER! Chicken nuggets, ranch dressing, milk cup, etc...goes flying all over the room.
Pat called me to see how things were going and I said, 'YOU ARE STILL COMING, RIGHT?' She assured me and said she was on her way. I offered to pay her speeding ticket should she get one, on the way! She arrived and I kid you not I met her at the door with Caden and his bag. Caden RAN TO HER. I told her I was sure he was tired of spankings and timeouts. I buckled him in the car and he was crying and saying, 'Mommy ride in car?' I said, 'No, Mommy is staying here.' Pat lovingly assured me that he would be fine and probably wouldn't cry much longer and I DID NOT CARE. I said, 'Oh, I'm fine!' So she left and then called me an hour or so later and I answered the phone by saying, 'YOU AREN'T BRINGING HIM BACK YET ARE YOU?' She laughed! Anyway, it happens to all Moms and I know this but Good LAWD I had had enough that day! Thanks to Grammie for taking him!

I like this Caden below so much better!

7 comments:

Mandy said...

Oh my goodness! I was reading this and nodding my head at everything you said because I just had one of these moments with my little darling too and I was a sweaty mess after dealing with him, pushing the grocery cart out, loading him and the groceries and trying not to lose my patience.

We need to get our boys together so they can play... Or, we can trade for a night... :)

GiGi said...

You've got me in stitches, Amber!! This is priceless! You now have a new appreciation for mothers whose kids pull this stunt in the stores. Before I had kids, I used to see them and think, "If I was his mother, I would..." I heard a comedian talking about this very thing, saying she understands now, why some animals eat their young!

kiki said...

I am laughing so hard. I know you weren't but it happens to all of us. I'm glad you both got a little break. He is soooo cute!

Keeley said...

SO been there! Thank God for Grandmas to take them away when you just can't take it anymore!! :)

Kari said...

Oh my gosh that is too funny. I remember those Wacky Wal-Mart days with Lane!! My how I don't miss them!!

Jamie said...

Ah, the joys of parenthood! Why is it that days like that happen when you least expect them? At least you had relief...gotta love grandparents!

Stephanie said...

Yep, I can totally relate these things are happening to me now too....the sad part is you never know, one day at the store he is perfect and the next day he is someone elses son:)

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